Don't you just hate waiting in for a delivery?
You can't go out, not even into the garden to put rubbish in the bin or hang the washing out, you can't have the radio too loud, you daren't spend more than 30 seconds in the bathroom in case you get back downstairs and find a card saying " we tried to call but there was no reply", and you can't switch the vacuum cleaner on in case you don't hear when the delivery man knocks the door with a feather duster. Come to think of it, that's not so bad.
I am waiting for a new cooker to be delivered and installed. I phoned the number given on my receipt and followed the instructions given by the female Dalek who told me " Your - item - will - be - delivered - on - Wednesday - the - tenth - of - October - between - two - and - six - p - m."
Well I'm sorry Ms Dalek but I've learned from bitter experience that things never get delivered when they are supposed to, so I have one ear open just in case they turn up early.
She also told me " If- you - change - your - delivery - time - you - may - delay - receipt -of - your - item - by - five - days." Scary!
She is now refining her plans for World domination.
So, what to do? Spend some time on the old computer whilst drinking lots of coffee ( bearing in my mind what I said about not spending too much time in the bathroom. Maybe I should put a note on the front door? " In loo, please wait.")
I found another forum ( I wonder how many there are?) and have just read The Rules:
" Any post to members that in the sole judgement of the Moderator ( all hail ) is deemed to be off topic ( eek!) may be deleted and may cause loss of website use." Oooer! It also says:
" Users do not wish to have to read through chitter chatter in order to find the information they are seeking." Well! EXCUSE ME!
Then it invites me to join. No chance! If I did I would revert to being a rebellious teenager and be expelled after my first posting.
Don't get any ideas about getting all boring and stuffy Mr Wooler!
So, lets start at the very beginning ( a very good place to start ) and I will tell you How It All Started. First, so they say, came the Big Bang and...
A cold dark evening in January 2007. Hubby comes home and says:
" Someone at work has a holiday home they are offering for rent. Are we interested?"
"What, a caravan?" Enthusiasm level: 1/10. The last time we rented a holiday home from a colleague it was a caravan in Wales. Now hold it all you Welsh! Yes it was beautiful ( Cardigan Bay) as Cymru is, but it wasn't exactly an adventure, and my poor daughter was bored out of her adolescent mind.
"No, a house." Enthusiasm level: 2/10.
" Somewhere we've never been." 3/10.
"We have to fly there."
"So it's outside the UK?"
"Yes." 7/10. Haven't been outside the UK since a week in Malta in 1999.
"I think the flight is about 8 or 9 hours."
"So it's outside EUROPE!" 10/10. "East or West?"
" West. It's a small island." We like small islands.
" Um, give me a clue then!" You may have noticed my husband never comes straight out with anything.
"Begins with T."
"Um, no idea. I can only think of Tenerife."
" Tobago? TOBAGO?" Enthusiasm level: Off the scale.
I phone my friend. "Tobago? As in Trinidad and Tobago?" she says. "Oooh!"
I phone my mum."That's nice dear. Where is it?"
"The Caribbean. You know, West Indies."
"Oh! You mean like Jamaica? It's a long way then."
Bless her! She's never set foot outside the British mainland and once thought New Zealand was in the EU. "We never did geography at school remember. There was a war on." Hitler's got a lot to answer for.
At that time I was scared stiff of computers and never attempted to switch it on unless Hubby or Son were in the house, so at first I left all the research to hubby, and he booked the flights and arranged the car hire.
I eventually plucked up courage and ventured onto the net all by myself, and discovered..."Simply Tobago".....
Then, in about February 2007 I discovered this site, and this forum!
I studied you all from afar, and then, my brethren, decided to take the plunge and join the club! It's done wonders for my computer and typing skills, not to mention giving me an outlet for all the nonsense that explodes, unbidden, into my head from time to time.
Has this saga been of help to new visitors? No.
Have I provided any useful information? No.
Do I care? No.
Have I enjoyed writing it? Yes! It's kept me out of mischief.
I hope you've enjoyed reading it. If not, tell me and I'll book an appointment with my therapist.
Cheers Big Ears