Have a waffle with Carol

[Carol Townsend]

Morning Gang!
Jill,
You are a mine of information! There must be something about your name; I know several Jills or Gills and they all seem to be very clever and resourceful people!
Now comes the embarrasing bit about my low-tech, mid twentieth century home. We have neither Sky, Digital, Freeview or any other of those things. Our TV is fifteen years old, which is newer than the one we had until last year, when we inherited it from our good friend Kev who is very high -tech! We still use our eighteen year old video player, have a DVD player which we left sitting under a chair for three years because our TV was too old for it, and which has turned out to be rubbish! It keeps freezing, and the longer you use it for the more frequently it freezes. You may like to make a note: PANASONIC!
Our children hate us........Perhaps they should call us The Flintstones Oh, and we've had a computer for about five years and the Internet for about two! As my son is now working, he could always buy this stuff himself I suppose. We're not that interested to be honest, plus the fact that we don't have a rooftop ariel and Himself doesn't want to get one if can help it!
Speaking of my esteemed son, all is not lost on the Top Gear front, he recorded it without my knowledge, bless him! And it's also repeated on BBC2 tomorrow.
Hubby arrived home suntanned and bearing gifts, and what did he say when greeting me? " Did you record all my stuff?" Yes I missed you too Dear!
Enough of my domestic dramas.
Tony, are you going to follow Jill's example and fit the hinges yourself?
Young Bill, I'm afraid I can't say your information about our red spotted friends was particularly reassuring. I don't want them eating our nice little native ones!
Last but not least, you there! Watkins!
Have no fear my dear friend, I don't worry too much about political correctness. I have no problem with "postman", "salesman", "fireman", "manhole cover", "chairman" etc. I think calling someone a "chair" is just plain daft!
You may, however, continue to address me as "Majesty", which is only right and proper. You may still call me Noe when I'm in a good mood (but you don't know when that's going to be, do you?)
I'm working this afternoon. A young student comes in on Tuesday afternoons to organise indoor cricket with the older kids, who I'm working with at the moment. They are SO competitive!
Cheers Big Ears
Carolnoe of Zanussi

[Gary]

Now comes the embarrasing bit about my low-tech, mid twentieth century home. We have neither Sky, Digital, Freeview or any other of those things. Our TV is fifteen years old, which is newer than the one we had until last year, when we inherited it from our good friend Kev who is very high -tech! We still use our eighteen year old video player, have a DVD player which we left sitting under a chair for three years because our TV was too old for it, and which has turned out to be rubbish! It keeps freezing, and the longer you use it for the more frequently it freezes. You may like to make a note: PANASONIC!
Our children hate us........Perhaps they should call us The Flintstones Oh, and we've had a computer for about five years and the Internet for about two! As my son is now working, he could always buy this stuff himself I suppose. We're not that interested to be honest,

Your Majesty,



I read that and thought you were talking about our household

[Carol Townsend]

Young Bill
So sorry, I didn't acknowledge your kind words, so let me do so now.

[Lisa Keith]

Hi Carol,

I'm with you 100% on the titles. Back in my old pre-Tobago life, I was (briefly), a Draughtsman. Please note - I was a draughtsman... not a draughtsperson, despite being corrected several times... It's a job, not a definition! How pretentious does 'draughtsperson' sound!!? And if anyone wanted to argue about it, I'd just say that actually, I was really a technical illustrator anyway! There's PC because it's right and PC just for the sake of it, in my book!

The world has gone mad!!

Lisa.

[David Watkins]

Blame it on the Bliar(oops I meant Blair)

[Bill B]

Your majesty,

You are certainly correct that a man will NEVER know when a women is going to be in a good mood. We're much safer to proceed on the assumption that she isn't.

We are as technologically out of date as your household. Last Christmas our son and daughter-in-law gave us a $40.00 DVD player so the grand kids would have something to watch when they stayed with us. Our TV was so old it had no ports to connect it so we had to go out and buy a new $350.00 set We then were unable to get a good signal on our old rabbit ears antenna so in the middle of January I was up on our roof installing a new outdoor antenna (another $100.00) I've already told them that we have everything we need and that it wasn't necessary to buy us anything for Christmas this year Except, if it was drinkable I'd reconsider

Your humble servant, Bill

[Carol Townsend]

Evening Folks,
I'm glad we're not the only dinosaurs on the block!

You are certainly correct that a man will NEVER know when a women is going to be in a good mood. We're much safer to proceed on the assumption that she isn't.

Young Earthling Brunner, I am very disappointed in that remark from you, but as I am in a good mood I will let it pass
You may kiss the hem of my robe.
Queen Carolnoe of Zanussi
XXXXX (to show I'm in a good mood)

[Carol Townsend]

Evening Oh Grand Poobah!
I think the Waffling Thread is bubbling along nicely. Does it meet with your approval?
Your Servant Sir
Carolnoe

[Bill B]

xxxxxx

[Brian Taylor]

stop the kissing folks...or soon the grand poobah has to close this "pool of sin"...

for the good/bad mood topic...most women including myself are in a good mood most of the time... and check it out, if they are in a bad one, in a very high percentage of cases a man is the reason... so don't throw stones in the glass house bill... (as we would say in germany, do you have that saying, too?)

@ carolnoe: bubbling is the right word... very relaxing chat here... and who knows maybe now and again we will touch the topic of tobago again (but not nessecarily... )

have a good night folks or good morning (if you read this on wednesday), don't know if you go to bed early as you all claim to be sooo old all the time...

steph

[Carol Townsend]

Morning Steph and All!
Yes I know it's the middle of the night for the likes of Bill and Steph.
Steph, we say "people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones". I tried a quick google to find the origins of that saying, and it would appear to be English, but I had neither the time nor inclination to delve any deeper. I don't know if it crossed the Pond; we'll have to wait for Bill to wake up.
Yes Steph,
I was in bed when you sent your post. Well, probably cleaning my teeth and taking off my slippers anyway(pink, patterned, white and fluffy inside)
Hey, why is it whenever I'm chained to this keyboard an appropriate song comes on the radio? "The female of the species is more deadly than the male".
Steph, what's this about a " pool of sin "? It must be your mind. "To the pure all things are pure."
I need to tell you that I won't be here at this time tomorrow or Friday, as I have to set off for work at 7.30.
A sisterly X just for you.
Not so much fun though

[Brian Taylor]

I don't think the sin comes from your side carolnoe... but you don't know THOSE guys (not tony, never met him...)... the glasshouse saying is the same in german, so it did cross the channel, let's see what bill has to say. seems we are turning out as "saying-origin-anoraks" this morning...
good thing for me, that part of my work is on the computer and that I can always pop in in between... I can actually see the sea from the office and right now "gazillions" of banana-quits who fight over the sugar I put in the birdfeeder, what an unmannerly crowd they are, but very cute, so I will forgive them. mr. mot mot sits and eats his cheese (he is a very well behaved fella) and says hello to you all...morning on the ilsand...glorious!
how long david?

steph
(no kisses to anyone, have a cold-sore)

[Carol Townsend]

Hello again Steph,
I'm very intrigued by what you say about THOSE guys. I assume you mean Messrs Brunner and Watkins? As for Tony; he is a hippie don't forget. Peace and Love and all that....
Oh Steph! You have painted such a vivid picture of Castara in my mind. I loved the little bananquits. I like their other name of sugarbird too. OOOOH ! Wish I was there!
Where's my diary? There must be something I haven't said about our holiday!
Found The Hat by the way, squashed at the bottom of the wardrobe.
In the words of Sean Paul; yoh -yoh!
A very depressed Carolnoe
XXX

[Brian Taylor]

don't cry little carolnoe... one day you will be abck here and enjoy it...
had breakfast on the porch in the meanwhile...accompanied by the birds of the last post and also the tropical mockingbird (nice song that was), the palm tanager, blue tanager and a couple of white barred bush shrikes who are very pretty...they only show single these days, so we assume they have a nest and someone satys home babysitting, but they always make it both to pass by and give us their morning greetings... I am not into birds at all, but since we practically live in that tree top I can't help it...
david must be stuck in the grease in his kitchen preparing it for winter... and bill? maybe it is just too early to expect the males to come out and join the chatter... Tony is awfully quiet too, hope the ladybirds (I thought they where called ladybugs, by the way or is that over the pond?) did not do him any harm...
see you later folks

steph

[Jane H]

Hi Steph,

You are so lucky to be able to sit and watch all those birds while at the computer - I don't even have a proper window here in my office!

And the only birds I seem to see right now are the kamikaze pheasants which seem to be determined to commit suicide under my car as I drive to work in the morning. There's one particular place where they sit on a wall - up to 20 of them some days - and as you get near you can almost take bets on which one is going to decide that it just HAS to cross the road! It doesn't make any difference if you slow down or speed up - they have the knack of judging just how to end up under your wheels. There's no doubt about it - pheasants are the bimbos of the bird world; beautiful, but stupid!

Actually - a lot of the wildlife round here seems to have a death wish. Badgers, deer, rabbits, foxes - they all seem to be drawn to our lanes - unfortunately with predictable results. I even had to stop to let some ducks walk across the road recently - now I'm used to doing that in spring when they have ducklings, these guys (and, yes, they were drakes!) obviously just couldn't be a****d to fly! So they stopped the traffic! (Mind you - as I've often said - only the British would stop the traffic flow completely on a main A road for ducks!)

Ah well - must stop rambling and get back to work. At least this brightens up a dull lunchtime!

Cheers all

Jane

[Carol Townsend]

Hello Steph and Jane,
Steph, yes we say ladyBIRDS over here. Why "birds", I really couldn't say!
I'm afraid I'm going to drag us away from wildlife for the moment, though I'm keen to come back to it! I have been composing the final chapter of my boat tales for about three days, and have decided not to prolong the agony any further,and "publish".
Back in a mo'.

[Carol Townsend]

Hey I've just noticed that my Cobblers Lock photo has been viewed 364 times.So it was worth all my efforts then
I must finish this tale, but you people keep distracting me! Where was I?
Do you know the film "The African Queen?" with Humphrey Bogart and Katherinre Hepburn? Like that. No not really, but I did see a floating log that looked uncannily like a hippo. I had an uncle who looked just like Bogart you know.Truly!
Well, the thing about narrowboats is that they move very slowly, about three miles an hour at most. Don't know what that is in knots, but it's slow, man, slow. I expect your boat is a little faster Bill? So you have time to observe the locals and the wildlife. Well, not when you're slaving in the galley that is. " How about a cup of tea and a biscuit for the crew? "
Two gulps later- " We must be due another tea."
" But you've just had one, the cups are still warm!"
"They're only small cups." Sigh.
Let's backtrack to the first day. When preparing for your voyage make sure you have plenty of food, as watering holes are few and far between. We had intended to eat at a pub on the first evening, but we didn't get an early start, and the crew didn't take into account the fact that it gets dark early in October.
There we were, in the middle of nowhere,in pitch blackness, so we had to moor up for the night.Luckily we had considered breakfast, so dinner that night was sausages, baked beans and bread.
The boat, by the way was old, but described as "well maintained." Just like me. The cooker,circa 1950 was not so well maintained. It had the world's slowest grill, and the oven didn't work. Just as well we could fry the sausages. We had plenty of tea, coffee and biscuits, so that was our first evening; eating and drinking and trying to work out where we were. Oh and trying to get the TV to work.
The night passed uneventfully, and I enjoyed listening to the owls. Such a comforting sound I think. Unless you're a small furry animal of course.
Came the dawn, and there was Skipper with a cup of tea.
" It's cold this morning."
"Really? What's the time-it's still dark?"
"Six."
".....*****!!!!"
There are several kinds of background noises you have to become accustomed to
on a boat; whereas in Tobago you have chickens, cockerels, dogs, cocricos and music, on an English canal you have ducks, swans, geese, trains (we were never far from a railway line) the water pipes on the boat which sound like a jumbo jet taking off, and the skipper's razor, which sounds like a swarm of angry killer bees.
The next thing I heard was " Have you tried your dipstick yet?"
Can anyone explain why I found that question hysterically funny?
Breakfast of more sausages, and on we went.
So,the tranquil days passed, and I am pleased to say no major traumas occured. There was the occassion when the crew were off the boat exploring the terrain, probably looking for a pub, leaving myself and daughter moored up.
"Mum! Mum! We're moving! Look!"
I had had a couple of steering lessons from the skipper:
" Fend her off!"
"What? Fend who off?"
"No,fender off!"
"What?"
" Move away from the bank"
"Oh."
Daughter had had a go too, but neither of us were exactly experts.
It was, off course, an optical illusion. We were moored near a railway line. It was the train that was moving......
Hubby NEARLY went in. On the bank, trying to pull the boat in, the boat had other ideas and tried to pull him into the water instead, so he slid down the bank on his back. Fortunately two of the locals stopped laughing long enough to help.
That's the great thing about being on a boat. All the boat people help each other; with the locks, information about where to eat, where best to moor up so local yobs don't come and give you grief (this is a problem in Newbury apparently) and the locals smile and wave and take photos, usually at the moment the toilet door flies open.
You also meet some interesting people, like the cartoonist and his wife who live on their boat, and who hope to make Scotland by Christmas 2008!
There is something I must warn you about spending six days lounging on a boat and living on take-aways and pub food. Your clothes start to shrink, especially around the waistband of your trousers, even without rum punches and roti.
I noticed this strange phenomenon after about three days, and so started walking along the banks( at the same speed as the boat) to counteract this shrinkage, and even deigned to help Hubby with the locks, although I was too little and weak for some of them. Aaaaah!
Hubby, of course, was very smug, because if any thing, HIS clothes got bigger, from all the hard work.
One final thing before I drag this tale to its end ( hooray, I hear you cry).
When you finally arrive back on land at the end of your voyage, you need to learn how to walk, or even stand, without swaying gently from side to side, as it feels
like the ground is moving! You also have to learn to speak without shouting above the engine; " How about a tea?"
"What?"
"TEA!"
"MORE TEA?"
"YES!"
"For goodness sake..."
And there you have it.

[David Watkins]

Your Majestic Noe,expect letter from my solicitor in regards to water damage to my key board!
As the question was asked,I have aproximately 21 days and six hours before takeoff,add eight hrs for the journey,three hrs immigration and travel to Castara..........WHOOPEEE.
David

[Tony G]

Just to say that I am here, sitting back and enjoying the gentle babble of the forum. Haven't had much to say recently as Janette had a breast cancer scare so we've both been a bit shell-shocked. But after being kept in limbo for a week, today we saw the consultant and she was given the 'all clear'. Phew! Now I can regain my sense of humour and carry on planning for January in Castara.

Tony

[Carol Townsend]

Tony,
I'm so glad that everything is OK.The relief must be like the sun coming out for you both.
Love to you and Janette.
Carol
X X