Morning Sandra,
So, will you be in Singapore for long, and will the kitchen be installed while you're away? That's the best way; have it done when you're away so you don't have to live with the mess.
Don't forget to wear a bodice when you are re-united with your OH so he can rip it!
Noe
xx
Morning Carol
Too much of a control freak these days to even consider people ripping my house apart without my eagle eye on every movement so will not leave until new kitchen exactly as specified. OH back tomorrow for a short while - have bodices on standby
Chapter Four, In Which the Bodice is Torn (for the first time).
Cherry arrived in Southampton on a windswept and blustery day in good time for the interview for librarian’s assistant, dressed in her best bodice and ankle-length skirt, but sandals rather than her usual DMs.
She was surprised to see that the interview was taking place on board a tug-boat moored to the jetty, and which was bobbing up and down rather alarmingly in the choppy sea. Hoisting up her skirt she gingerly stepped aboard and entered the tiny cabin which was the waiting room.
She sat nervously chewing her fingernails until she was summoned by a short man in a grubby white suit with the top of his ancient underpants showing above the waistband of his trousers, almost up to his armpits; dingy white shoes, yellow teeth and slicked -backed hair that was shiny, not from health, but from grease. He held out a less-than-clean hand and leered at Cherry.
“Good morning to you my dear. My name is Ampney Knowles. I understand you are applying for the post of librarian’s assistant?”
“Yes” she gulped, wiping her hand on her skirt and gasping as she caught a whiff of his rancid breath. I’ve never encountered a librarian like this before, she thought.
“I’m not a librarian” he said, as if reading her mind (a scary thought) “Peregrine De-La-Rue would normally be doing the interviews, but he’s ill. I think he caught some nasty bug when he was in South America, visiting Lake Titicaca. You’ve heard of “Montezuma’s revenge” no doubt?”
Cherry had. Noticing the hygiene standards of Mr Ampney Knowles she hoped she wouldn’t catch it herself.
“Come into my office and we’ll have a chat. Mr De-La-Rue has left instructions regarding the sort of girl – person, he wants”. He leered at Cherry again and stared at the fastening of her bodice, and she began to wish she was back in Wafflingham-in the-Marsh with her dear hippy friends.
“Now” said Ampney Knowles. “What dress size are you? Oh no, sorry, that’s for another job”. He winked at Cherry and she wondered if she should get up and leave.
“What are your qualifications and experience? For working in a library I mean”. He somehow managed to make the question sound somewhat suggestive.
“I have an A level in English and another in Librarianship. I worked in a library for many years then did temporary work in a bookshop, and helped a friend sell clothes made from Afghan goat hair.”
“Hmmm, not bad. Why did you leave your job at the library to work in a bookshop and then sell clothes?”
“I was travelling around.”
“Hmmm. Do you go to the gym?”
“Pardon?”
“The gym. To keep yourself in shape. Toned, so you fit into that lovely little bodice”.
“No, but what has…”
“Sorry, thinking of something else,” he chortled.
He referred back to the notes left by Mr.De-La-Rue.
“Yes, he wants someone who enjoys travel. Want to travel do you?”
“Oh yes, I do.”
“I’m looking for a girl who wants to travel, and I’ll pay more than you’ll get as a librarian’s assistant.”
“No thank you”.
“But the job I’m thinking of would suit a pretty girl like you”.
“No thank you, I want to use my brain.”
“Your brain? Oh well, all right, I’ll recommend you to Mr De-La-Rue. He’ll be in touch”.
Cherry scuttled away before he could shake her hand again.
Back at home she waited by the telephone, wondering whether she should accept the job if it meant working with Ampney Knowles. He said he wasn’t a librarian, but what did he do?
The telephone rang at last. It was Peregrine De-La-rue.
“Miss Hinton? I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there to interview you myself - gippy tummy you know. Mr Knowles says he liked you and has recommended you for the job.”
“On the basis of my qualifications? He didn’t seem that interested in them at the time.”
“He was sent to us by an agency, doesn’t work for our company at all. I believe he normally recruits travelling pole dancers and glamour models. Didn’t know what to make of you; in his work he never meets the kind of girl who wants to use her brain. I hear you turned down his offer? Good for you; no future in pole dancing, unless you want to run off with a footballer, create a scandal and sell your story for a million.”
“No I do not!” cried Cherry. “Whatever happened to feminism?”
“It’s long gone. Now, if you’re interested in accepting the job, I’ll arrange for you to see the “Aztec Queen”.
Cherry took a deep breath. “Yes” she said.
Her next task was to tell her friends. Moonflower was delighted.
“It’s the best news I’ve heard for a long time” he said. “Take the opportunity and make the most of it. If it doesn’t work out, you can jump ship at Venezuela or somewhere”.
“But what about you and the others?” said Cherry.
“Actually Cherry, we’ve been talking about settling down. We’ve seen all we want to see and now we’re thinking of retiring to the Isle of Wight with Semmitone, or maybe the Hebrides; Rhum or Muck perhaps”.
“But what will you do? How will you make a living?”
“We’ll manage as we always have. If it’s the Hebrides we’ll buy a croft. Don’t worry about us”.
Cherry returned to Southampton and met Peregrine De-La-Rue, who, much to her relief, was clean and smart, with no underpants on view, and showed no interest in her dress size or bodice. He did remark on her lovely hair however, admired her handbag and sandals and asked where she had bought them. She knew she would feel safe working with Mr De-La-Rue.
The “Aztec Queen” was rather old, but had all the luxuries required for a long voyage. The library was similar in size to that in Wafflingham-in-the-Marsh, but was better stocked; with all the latest novels plus the classics, including “Robinson Crusoe” which was prominently on display. There was one difference with this library; all the books were chained to the shelves, and the tables and chairs were bolted down. This was a recurring theme throughout the ship; everything was chained or bolted down.
“Why is everything bolted down?” Cherry asked Peregrine.
“She’s a ship, my dear girl; things tend to slide around a bit. Now do come and see your quarters, there are some gorgeous new curtains that my friend chose. He has such good taste.”
He had; they were a delicate pink with little white daisies. In fact, everything in her cabin was pink, which, as it so happens, was Cherry’s favourite colour.
Peregrine introduced Cherry to the rest of the crew who seemed friendly enough, and none were like Ampney Knowles.
“Well?” asked Peregrine. “Will you sign up for a year?”
“Yes” she said.
Cherry arrived home feeling both elated and exhausted by her momentous decision. She must begin packing, but first she would have a bath. As she undressed she was so nervous and excited that she tore her bodice, and there it lay in a crumpled heap on the bathroom floor, with Bernie standing guard as she laid back and dreamed of her forthcoming adventure.
The characters in this tale are most definitely fictitious.
Just a quick note to say I'll be away in the Rest and Meditation Home for Burnt-Out and Stressed Wafflers for a while.
My hubby declared that I am in need of a holiday, so as he can't get time off it's just me and Daughter going off on our own on a last minute booking. Can only manage Europe, but I'll tell you about it when I return.
This time last year we were packing for Tobago....
Carol
Just logged on while waiting for rice to cook, just wanted to say have a wonderful time. Come back golden and rested, leave bodices at home would be my travel advice. XX
Bude boy has been very quiet of late, I do hope you are not keeping a low profile after stirring up the hornets nest, or are you hiding since I claimed you as my prize for 1000th post? Hopefully you are just very busy with the summer influx of tourists.
Pop in and say hi sometime as your knowledge of Tobago for surpasses mere mortals like myself.
Dear Carol,
pretty nice tale. Im longing for th next chapter. And I wish you nice and relaxing holidays in between. Even if you are "only" going to Europe
Dear Sandra,
good luck with the kitchen and a nice trip to Singapore with OH. How long will you stay away? But surely they will have internet cafes in Singapore so you can join us once in a while.
Hi David?
Where are you? Don't let Linda (and me and all the others who care) wait for a sign!
Hi Bill,
you really got it with the worse and good days, holidays and work
Hi Gisela
Singapore trip in September, laptop with me at all times so will definitely keep in touch ! Only problem being not to sure of schedule as yet so may have to change our holiday to Tobago next year .Whatever happens am determined to get there in March at the latest. When are you going next year ?
Bill
Hope all is well your side of the pond. Have booked a pre Christmas shopping trip to New York today so thought of you. I just love it - you guys are so cheap !
pre Christmas shopping in New York? WOW! A friend of mine went in November 2007 and spent a lot of money (though "you guys are so cheap" - you did not worry someone could get that wrong?)
I have no idea when I can make it again to Tobago. I'm in contact with a British friend who wants to share a house with me but she's going now in September and we made no plans for 2008 yet.
Cheap? It's all a matter of perspective. I would never travel to nor want to live in New York as I consider it way too expensive
With that in mind, and with the relative value of the Dollar to the Pound or Euro, there is no way I'm going to make it to Europe in the foreseeable future.
Not much new on this side. Been enjoying a nice summer with more moderate temperatures and much less of the beastly humidity than normal. Still warm enough to enjoy boating and swimming in the lake but not needing the a/c in order to sleep at night.
Bill
Gosh you sound serious - not like you I feel. Come on , it's what us Brits do, just as you come to the UK do the grand tour in 14 days and thats it. Sorry but I love New York, just makes me smile and so ,so glad to get home at the end of it ! If that seems weird then no point in travelling. I did only mean that dollar/sterling is such a good deal at present, honest ! If you ever can make it to our hugely overcrowded little island we have a spare room and although our beds may be smaller our welcome would be king size.
Sorrry if I sounded too serious. I know that you were jokingly referring to the relative vaue of the dollar to sterling which makes a trip to the States 'cheap' for you and one to Europe very expensive for us. Perhaps someday that will be reversed and I'll take you up on your offer
I was born and raised in Chicago and still live in a nearby suburb. Not necessarily my first choice but due to the fact that my business serves a localized industrial clientele I don't have the alternative of living in some out of the way place. To me New York is just another big dirty city that's more expensive than home and not my idea of a vacation. I prefer to either go to the tropics or open mountainous country to relax and get away from all the hustle and bustle
Bill
I grew up in Devon, which I'm sure you know is regarded as "backward". When I arrived at university the constant question was "Do you have electricity yet ". Made me very determined to show I could mix it with the best. My parents brought us up to believe that the world was our oyster, all you had to do was crack it. After many years of hard work and a little speculation I feel now a little frivolity is allowed. Of course I accept New York is a travesty to most of your country but it is such good fun, and at my age that can't be so bad. Boston is more Brit than me, San Fransisco is so laid back you fall asleep standing up,Hawaii is wonderful but a pain to get to - so New York it is.
I'm sure you will enjoy your trip to NY (fun is good at any age). In fact if I were ever dragged there I'm sure I would also enjoy it, but until I have unlimited vacation time and money it's not going to be on my short list.
Speaking of electricty, when we go to Puerto Vallarta next spring we will be staying several nights in Yelapa, a small fishing village down the coast that is accessible only by water taxis (or a three hour trip down the mountainside on burros). Until three years ago they had no electric or telephones in this town and even now it will never be mistaken for Times Square
Bill
I am green with envy at your forthcoming trip in the Spring sounds like heaven . Trouble is OH and I tend to have different agendas so compromises have to be made,well that or divorce. He enjoys the good life, whereas I am quite happy to simply go off the beaten track and see what happens. Have weaned him off 5* star hotels which I absolutely hate, there again can't cope with total discomfort these days - bad back, dodgey knee. A pain in the a-- but that's life. Let's just say I know my limitations !
I know that DH stands for Dear Husband but I've been wracking my brain to figure out what OH stands for.
I agree with you about 5* resorts - much too hoity toity for me. Off to the cottage shortly where dressing for dinner is to put on a clean tee shirt and maybe clean shorts.
.Whatever happens am determined to get there in March at the latest. When are you going next year ?
