Have a waffle with Carol

[Bill B]

Greetings,

This is starting to sound like a terribly trashy TV program here in the states called "Desperate Housewives"

Bill

[Tony G]

Morning all! Haven't been frightened away. I've been lurking between working.

Gentleman's hairdressers (or barbers as they used to be known)are quite different to ladies. There is no pampering and often very little conversation. It is more like a production line. We sit, as if on the Tube, avoiding each other's eyes and pretending to read the five-year old, dog-eared, magazines until we hear the magic word, "Next". Depending on the mood of the hairdresser this can sound like a request or an order. When we entered the barbers we made a mental note of who was already sitting there so we know when it is our turn. Never in all my many years of visiting these establishments have I witnessed anyone jumping, or attempting to jump, the queue. Once seated in the chair, wrapped in something not unlike a sheet, tissues tucked in around the neck to stop the hair dropping down inside one's clothes, (it never works - we itch until we can change our clothes and jump into a shower), we state briefly what kind of haircut we'd like and hope that is what we get. I doubt that gentleman's hairdressers have any training in conversing with their customers beyond "Did you see the match last night?" in the soccer season or something to do with cricket in the cricket season. It all seems a bit pointless to me. I've waited in a full hairdressers and heard the guy ask his customers the same question over and over. What must that be doing to his brain? I just say "Gimme a grade 8" and shut my eyes until it's over and I can get back to what passes for my real life.

I used to hate going to the barbers so much that I bought myself a set of those electric haircutters and would periodically stick my head over the kitchen sink and crop it all off. Janette made me stop. Said that it made me look mad and dangerous and I'm definitely not the latter.

P.S. Bill, you seem to know quite a lot about that particular terribly trashy TV show. Enough to be able to compare it to the habits of our very own waffling housewives. It's not a bad title for a show though - Borrowing Husbands. Has a kinda ring to it dont'cha think?

Tony


http://www.flickr.com/photos/tonyandjanette

[Bill B]

Tony,

Actually, I've never watched the program but one can't help but see the constant promos which are bad enough. It's also become sort of a "pop" phrase here in the states whenever a woman does something outrageous to refer to her as a "Desperate Housewive."

i agree with you that going to a barber shop is nowhere near the social occasion that a woman's visit to the beauty shop is. Sit down, read a magazine, wait your turn and then watch some sports on the TV while your hair is cut. Years ago when my wife returned from a visit to the "Hair Salon" I remarked that it didn't look like her hair had been done and she said "you're right." When I asked why, she said her hairdresser left early because of a sick child. I then commented that she seemed to have been gone for the usual time and she replied that since she was there she "stayed around to catch up on all the gossip from the regulars."

Bill

[David Watkins]

Bill,you had the courage to say to a Zanussian who had been to the hairdressers,that you couldn't see the difference!!!!!!!!!You are a braver man than I,Gungha Bill!
In trepidation,David

[Bill B]

David,

In retrospect, it probably wasn't the smartest thing I've ever said

Bill

[GillMathews]

Good evening,good night,
Sounds like a winner to me Tony, I`m sure the Zanussian sisterhood would be most capable of acting as script advisers for a very healthy cut of the profits
My borrowed ones are allways plied with tea and biscuits or the occasional diet coke! (its the least I can do) and returned safely just in case they are needed again! After all there are so many things a girl just cant do without one of the wea...oops sorry stronger sex.Hanging doors,laying patios,clearing drains,skimming ceilings,fitting new central heating boilers, the list is endless
Thanks for leaping to my defence Noe. David, methinks thou do protest too much
Bill, you certainly lived dangerously
Gill x x

[Tony G]

Morning Wafflers, (and a surprisingly frosty one it is too, here on the Isle of Wight).

Gill, the jobs that you list as being the ones you need male assistance for are just the kind of thing that Janette would/could do (maybe not fitting the boiler). Of course that's not to say that I couldn't do them myself but she has much more patience and doesn't mind reading instructions, which is something that us men can't be bothered with, we only read them when things begin to go horribly wrong.

Bill, I have learned always to say how nice the hair looks when Janette returns from the hairdressers even when I can't see any difference. She needs to know that the ridiculous amount of money that ladies hairdressers charge was reasonably well spent.

Aah well, another day beckons.

Tony


http://www.flickr.com/photos/tonyandjanette

[Peter Kuhn]

[Brian Taylor]

what do you want to say peter? you are getting your hair done with a waffle-maker? very creative....

steph

[Carol Townsend]

Evening all!
So glad you're all waffling away about hairdressers!
Peter, you have surpassed yourself with the bizarre photos !
See ya later
Carolnoe
XXXX
Mustn't forget the kisses

[Bill B]

Tony,

And of course the worst possible question to be asked - "Do you think this dress makes my a** (or on your side of the pond, my b**) look bigger"?

Bill

[Carol Townsend]

In fairness to the chaps after having a girlie chat, I'm trying to think of something for them, although I note that they did quite well in the hairdressing thread.....
Tricky, very tricky....
What DO men talk about?
Sport, cars, motorbikes, their hobbies,computers, women. Is that it ?
Ok then...
Sport. I know nothing. Nu -ttin! at school I was always the one no-one wanted on their team
Football.( Soccer to you Bill) Nah! Rugby.Nah!
My mum prefers rugby players to footballers. She says:" They're REAL men, not like these namby pamby footballers, who need their nappies changed if they break a nail!"
I like the New Zealand All Blacks, or at least, watching them perform the Hakkar ( is that how it's spelt? I couldn't be bovvered wiv looking it up) which I find hilarious.
Motor racing? Spare me from that ghastly whining cacophony!
Cricket? Yawn!
Golf? Well, that's quite relaxing to watch in bed late at night. Very soporific. Actually I do play crazy golf in my local park.
Tennis? HATE it!
Boxing? Oh please!
Wrestling? That's not a sport!
The Olympics? Tolerable.
How about fishing? I know as much about it as I do scuba diving, but Himself indulges now and then, though he's not in the same league as our Mr Pitts.
I have been fishing with Himself and some friends, and I must say I do enjoy it, providing the weather is good, the scenery is nice and I have a comfy chair so I can read or knit ( yes, knit) or simply observe the wildlife, not to mention the other fishermen.
Once, when staying with the In Laws and family, I was offered the choice of fishing with the men, or shopping with the women. No contest! Fishing! Much to the bewilderment of the females. I'm just one of the boys really.

Having planned your expedition, you have to get your equipment ready the day before, as it takes so long, and someone ALWAYS forgets something, like the bait. The women have to prepare MOUNTAINS of sandwiches and flasks of tea.
Next day, you get up at an obscenely early hour, and load up the car, and realise there's no room for the passengers, so you have to hire a taxi.
When you eventually reach your destination ( having had to go back for the bait) you then have to find a good place or "swim" as I believe it's called. This is where
the non -fishing folk need inordinate patience, as this is a process which can take many hours while they walk up and down, down and up, trying to choose between various identical spots.
Having found the perfect place, they then spend several more hours setting up shedloads of equipment. This is why everyone has to set off so early.
The first time I went fishing with Himself he showed me a pot of maggots, expecting me to go all girly and squeal. Huh! Squeal? I pick'em up I do. I also pick up worms, caterpillars, SMALL spiders, and various reptiles and amphibians. My lifelong ambition is to put one of those big pythons around my neck.
Enough of that.
When everyone is finally settled, the serious business of staring blankly at the water begins, with me being told to keep quiet or else, and not to say "poor little thing" if he caught anything.
I had a little moment of triumph once. We were fishing with my father in law, when Himself asked me to keep an eye on his rod while he went over to see Dad.
Of course, I spotted movement as soon as he had moved down the bank, but I had not spent many hours watching him fish for nothing. I did what I'd seen him do a hundred times-I yanked the rod upwards as hard as I could. Then I shouted for help.
He couldn't believe it. "You've caught something. How did you do it?"
"I just copied what I've seen you do."
"But I've been fishing for years!"
It was a two pound carp. Okay it wasn't a barracuda, but I was quite pleased with myself. Having weighed it, you put it back, and try and catch another one, or the same one, if it's stupid enough.....
Himself has never quite got over that day...
So the day progresses to the point where it's too dark to see, and,with great reluctance, our heroes decide to go home. That takes a fair while too, as the taxi has to be hired again ( no- one thought to do it in advance) and all the packing up has to be done.
The rest of the evening (what's left of it) is spent in discussing the day's events ad nauseum, and everyone retires; exhausted by all that staring.
How's that then lads?
Mr Pitts, I daresay you're not that impressed as you undoubtedly have some much more exciting tales, but I've done my best.
Goodnight
Sleep tight
Carolnoe
XX

[Bill B]

Carolnoe,

You've come close to describing it, but in my humble opinion it's nowhere near as exciting as you paint it Now that I've incurred the wrath of all the fisherpersons (note how politically correct I am) who read and post here I'll simply say "Good Day" and sign out.

Bill

[Peter Kuhn]

[Steve Pitts]

Mr Pitts, I daresay you're not that impressed as you undoubtedly have some much more exciting tales, but I've done my best.
XX

Far from it Carol - your exposé of a day 'on the bank' is uncannily accurate.
I can tell you speak as an experienced angler.

The nuances of the noble art are mostly lost on the fairer sex, so I think that you could well become the myTobago fishing guruess with a bit of encouragement.

By the way - you can call me Steve

Tight lines - as we danglers say.

[Carol Townsend]

Morning Chaps!
Starting early today, before we head off fishing for a coat for Daughter(again!)
Bill- "fisherpersons", I like that!
Peter- oh yuk!!!!!
Steve- I called you Mr Pitts mainly to distinguish you from the other estimable Steve who watches benignly over us, and because I sense that you are a person of great wisdom and knowledge, at least in the matter of fishing, and having had a peep at your profile, I see that you are interested in natural history.
Respect man! And tight lines to you too ( whatever that means)
Bye for now
Carolnoe
I may not always be so nice to you Steve......

[Carol Townsend]

Steve,
Also meant to say I've been sea fishing with Himself off the coast of Cornwall many years ago. I didn't fish; just watched him catching mackerel, but I was very excited when we saw a shark!
Der dum, der dum, dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum diddly deeee.....

And thanks for calling us Zanussians the fairer sex.

Waiting for a comment from David...

[Steve Pitts]

Steve- I called you Mr Pitts ....... because I sense that you are a person of great wisdom and knowledge

I had you down as a better judge of character Carol.
(Wikepedia is a wonderful thing.)

On the subject of the fairer sex being aquainted with the pleasantries of angling - my two (Mrs Pitts and Ms Pitts) are better than me at the game. So much so that I have taken to going fishing without them now, beause they mostly catch more fish than I do and bigger ones too.

Mrs Pitts and Nile Perch


Ms Pitts and Barracuda


I know when I'm beaten

[David Watkins]

We have been invaded by Zanusssians and now Pescodians........is there no safety any where for we meek Earthlings??????
Terrified mere huMAN

[GillMathews]

Hi Folks,
Have never quite grasped the concept of sitting on the river bank with a fishing rod but sea fishing, oh yes definately. Might be one of those nature over nurture things. My great, great, great, grandfather was a Shetland Island fisherman.His first born son moved to the mainland to work in the ship yards in Tyneside. Two generations later my maternal grandfather who worked underground in the Durham coal mines all his working life shared ownership of a fishing "cobble" with his best friend in Seaham Harbour. It was his way of supplementing his income to feed the family and a release from the confines of the filthy confined spaces he worked in as a cutter at the coal face.I was born in his home which had a view of the north sea from the windows upstairs.
Many years later as a fairly new wife and now living in London I spent a various very long days waiting for the love of my life to return from sea angling trips.The hospital we both worked at had an Angling club. Eventually I decided to take the "if you cant beat them join" them approach and applied for membership!That really put the cat among the pidgeons, A woman in the club? whever next .However we were supposed to be in the enlightened seventies and two commitee meetings later I was allowed to join them. It was great, Mostly we went down to Littlehampton or to Hayling Island. I loved the sea and the boats and got quite good at the fishing too. We did a combination of feathering for Mackeral, fishing off the bottom with big weights and sometimes wreck fishing.You might need to move a bit quickly when a big Conger eel is hauled in! but they do make excellent eating.But regardless of the fishing, being out there on the boat is magic
The club had a few annual trophies up for grabs and my popularity declined rapidly when I had the audacity to catch the "Best specimin fish" It was a Tope which although not particularly big apparently fitted the criteria.I was in danger of going overboard at one point.Oh dear, what a lot of dented pride . Next problem was to decide what to give me! Traditionally it would have been an nicely engraved beer tankard.I received instead an engraved brushed stainless steel (very seventies) sandwich platter (keep the little lady in the kitchen) which I still have somewhere.
When I do a coastal boat trip in Tobago I use the hand lines and usually catch some tuna but they do tend to give themselves up so it can hardly be called fishing.Perhaps I should try a more fishing orientated trip next year. Cheerio for now
Gill xx
Sorry David x