Have a waffle with Carol

[David Watkins]

It is bxxxxy cold,I've been freezing my bamass off since my return.The sea here as also very big--bigger than it was when we had gusts of 90+mph a couple of weeks back and the wind is about 35 mph with gusts up to 60mph.Fortunately we are just abit to far west for snow although some rain is forecast
Blue Budeboy.

[GillMathews]

Hi everybody, Happy Easter to you all. Bit thin on religious conviction myself but am enjoying a house full of relies including some nephews who should be picked for olympic basket ball teams if height is anything to go by All 5ft 1in of me is feeling decidedly dwarfed They are lovely lads though and have been helping me put music onto my new phone.( not quite mastered it myself yet )
We had some snow this morning but it is not settling which is good because my drive is steep and my car simply wont go up it in snow. It is however Bxxxxx freeeeeezing here as well with severe wind chill factor.At least I am not working till Tuesday.
Happy hols and keep warm,You folk in 'Bago feel my envy
Gill xx

[David Watkins]

We were NOT supposed to have snow,however we have had a couple of heavy showers and now(1430) the sky has gone an ominous grey.And of course it is all conimg from Ingerland
Deep-frozen David

[Carol Townsend]

It's snowing, it's miserable, Himself is at work, my teenagers are out doing their own thing, I'm alone and fed-up.
Time for the tale of the Scary Washing Machine and the Exploding Water Tank...

[Carol Townsend]

Let's start with the washing machine.
I suppose I'm used to luxury; I have an automatic washing machine at home. It's not a micro-chipped -computer-controlled -water-saving -contraption that has its own brain, but it does what I ask of it; fill, turn a knob, switch on, go shopping.
The machine in our holiday house was a different kind of creature altogether.
On the face of it, it should have been simple. The house was only supplied with cold water, except for the shower, which mysteriously managed to produce hot water from somewhere, so there was just the one tap in the kitchen, and a hose to fill the machine.
It was a twin-tub, the like of which I had never used before, and I guess it had come from Venezuela as the instructions were helpfully written in Spanish, which, naturally, being British, none of us can speak.
First, plug in to the electric socket.
Now, a word about electric plugs. They are, of course, totally different to the ones found in the UK. Two pins instead of three, and no switch on the socket, so you just push the plug in and away you go, and then when you have finished using the appliance, you pull the plug out.
The kettle terrified me. We were informed that the fuse "occasionally" blew when the kettle was used, but no problem, just push the green button (or was it yellow? No matter) and it would be fine. It blew at least once a day.
I had no problem putting the plug in, but taking it out was a little fraught. Again, being used to luxury at home, I have an automatic kettle which obligingly
switches itself off when the water has reached the required temperature. Not this thing. You had to stand by and watch so the kitchen didn't fill up with steam, and then put your hand in the steam and yank out the plug, which had become worryingly hot, and would spark. I pride myself on having become the fastest plug puller-outer in the world.
Where was I? Oh yes, the washing machine.
I plugged it in for the first time, and decided to rinse the tub out to clear it of the debris and dead insects that had accumulated in it since it was last used. That's when I discovered I had to use a hose. Unlike an automatic, when using a hose you have to stand guard; not only to ensure that the tub doesn't overfill, but you also have to be ready to grab the hose when, like an angry snake, it detaches itself from the tap and tries to escape across the floor, leaving a large puddle in its wake.
Having filled the tub, you have to decipher "wash", "timer", "rinse", "drain" and "spin", and then turn it on. So far, so good. You are now free to wander off, pour yourself a drink, and take up your allotted space on the verandah.
Half an hour later someone says "Are we ready to go out yet?" Then you remember that you need to reset the machine for "drain", turn on the tap, grab hold of the snake and refill ready for rinse. You then have to drain it again for another rinse, then again for "spin". The process could take up to a whole day, as we often went out and left it to its own devices.
Spinning. That was the fun part. You carefully place the soaking wet and hopefully now clean clothes into the second tub, close the lid, and stand back.
Packing it all in evenly; that's the secret. That, and closing the lid properly.
Shudder bang thump wallop judder tremble (pass me the thesaurus). Just as well there was no-one occupying the apartment below us; they would have thought it was an earthquake and fled down the steps in terror!
I swear the thing was alive; it tried to escape its moorings and gallop across the kitchen, pulling the snake with it. Ever been chased by a rampant washing machine and a snake at the same time? It's not funny.
The final stage (or is it The Final Conflict?). The machine grinds to a halt with a last thud and then sits there looking innocently at you with the snake stretched out on the floor. You yank the plug out, remove the lid and - the machine has one last card up its sleeve; the washing is inextricably tangled up in a wet soggy ball, which takes ten minutes to unravel.
At last! Time to peg it out on the line above the verandah so it can catch the breeze. And the rain, and the deposits from the bats and birds..

Now for the water tank, which sat outside, just above the house in a tangle of vegetation.
One day I was in the kitchen (as usual) when I heard the sound of running water outside, and saw that the tank was leaking, but then it mysteriously stopped so I thought no more about it.
The next day we returned from an outing to find that it was erupting like Old Faithful, but before we could panic it stopped again.
Time passed uneventfully till one morning there was a rumblin' and a thuddin' and a shakin' and WHOOSH! Old faithful erupted again. Now was the time to panic!
"Got to stop it! Wasting water! Help!"
We phoned the charming Doris Walker who looked after the house, and she sent her husband Denzil along in shining armour and riding on a white horse ( yes alright I'm being fanciful; how often have you seen a rasta dressed like that? It's possible, what about Carnival?) who clambered up and fixed it, getting drenched in the process. He said the pipe had become detached due to the water pressure. I know how it feels. I become detached when under pressure too.
It happened again shortly before we were due to go home; in fact we worried about going home in case it erupted when no one was there. Still, it no doubt could be seen from miles away so a passer - by could raise the alarm.
Let this be a lesson to us all.
Check your water works.

[Lisa Keith]

LOL!!!! Thanks Carol - another gem!!

Lisa.

[David Watkins]

Noe,Noe.Noe!!!! Why do you do this?Your stories are true and I love them------- I am going to pinch them all and publish them if you don't do it first.Great story telling as it should be,love every letter!!!
Love it,and one day we WILL meet,
Your Passionate , Admirer the Keernow Bayxxxxx

[Carol Townsend]

Steady now boy!

[Tony G]

Hi Sis & All

David is right. You should be published. I wouldn't be surprised if he even knows someone who knows someone in publishing. All you need to do is get a reasonable advance on the first book then use that money to fund your second visit to Tobago where you can be gathering material for the second in the series.

I can remember owning a twin-tub like the one you describe.

Anyway, I see that I have been referred to in various posts and have not had time to reply, not because I have been hunting chocolate eggs or hanging out in the parish church, but because, despite the inclement weather, I have been out in the garden. Cold, wet and windy - yes, but no frost, so, I am sure you will all be relieved to hear, the broccoli is fine. I picked the first good-sized sprouts the other day, steamed them, poured cheese sauce over and they were delicious.

Paul, regarding the original IOW Festivals - in 1968 I was a mere slip of a hippy at 16yrs old and remember sitting in a freezing, wind-blown field of corn stubble watching Jefferson Airplane. !969 was the year that Bob Dylan was persuaded to come out of his semi-retirement, I regularly pass the pub in Wootton where he was supposed to have played the old upright piano - I wonder what ever happened to it? Probably worth a fortune now. Memories of this festival are a little hazy!!! In 1970 a friend and I got jobs working in the toilets. Well I say working, but all it involved was hosing them down and pointlessly spraying around them with a scented aerosol. Memories of that weekend fall outside the ability to communicate in a linear fashion.



Tony

[Gisela Grell]

Dear Carolnoe,

this story is great! Even for me as a not native English speaker I laughed the whole time. As Tony and David wrote you should publish your storys! (Are you sure you are not related to Paula S. Wall?)

Go on like this and keep our hearts happy.

Cheers
Gisela

[Carol Townsend]

Thanks everyone for your lovely comments as always, even if some of them are a little more understated than David's. (Love it! )
I enjoy writing my little tales, but there'd be no point if no-one enjoyed reading them.
Bruv, you're right; I need to return to Tobago to get some more material as I'm running out. Somebody out there must know someone who knows someone who has connections with someone in publishing! Or, to save time, if you'd like to make a donation; although there is also David's fund to consider. What was it,the SAWBTT fund?
Anyway Bruv, I'm glad to hear the PSB is doing OK. Maybe David can give you some recipes?
And I do love those little snippets of info. about your hippy days! Can we tease any more out of you?
Peace and love brethren
Noe
xxxx

[Carol Townsend]

Young Bill,
Guess What? "Desperate Housewives" is on the TV tonight (Channel 4 at 10pm).
I seem to remember your referring to it a while back.I guess it was shown in the US first, so maybe you can tell us the plot in advance....
Desperate Noe
xxx

[Bill B]

Noe,

I remember making a reference to the program and I also remember stating that I had never seen it. My tastes in TV run to more refined fare such as American football and NASCAR racing. For a while when it was quite popular here in the States you couldn't tune into the network it was on without seeing the commercials for it. Based on what I have heard it involves vast amounts of sex none of which occurs with the person they are married or committed to.

Bill,

P.S. As I said a long time ago and as others have pointed out you should publish your ramblings. Just don't look to me to finance your research in Tobago

[Carol Townsend]

Just don't look to me to finance your research in Tobago

Bill,
I'm very disappointed. I was relying on you being a rich businessman!

[Carol Townsend]

Hello Gisela,
I googled Paula Wall and might try out one of her books. "If I were a Man I'd Marry Me" seems worth a look. From the reviews and examples of her wit, I don't think I'm up to her level!
I must get back to reading; I used to read all the time but I've slipped out of the habit in recent years. It started with marrying someone who never reads books and would resent me sitting there oblivious to the world(and him!) and then having children and never having the time or mental energy to read.
They're now doing their own thing, he now does his own thing and wouldn't notice if I was reading, tapping away at this machine (unless he wanted to use it) or doing cartwheels wearing nothing but my socks, so there is no excuse!
Incidentally, I never could do cartwheels, not even as a child, so there is no danger of me trying it now, with or without socks.
See ya!
Noe

[David Watkins]

Da mind boggles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tony G]

And I do love those little snippets of info. about your hippy days! Can we tease any more out of you?

Sis, I am reticent. Have a responsible job and wouldn't wish to jeopardise that by public confession. They were very different times. What was seen then as free expression and experimentation would not be viewed in the same way today. That said, I have no regrets. Snippets will inevitably slip out.

T.

xxx

[Carol Townsend]

OK, Peace 'n luv Bruv!
xxxx

[Bill B]

Noe,

So did you watch the show or did my comments scare you away ?

As for being a businessman, the only one getting rich off my efforts seems to be the Government.

Tony,

As long as you're not running for political office (and as long as you didn't inhale) I think you're safe.

Bill

[Carol Townsend]

Yes Bill, I watched it!
And I have to say, it was far less sleazy than some of the ghastly soaps shown in the UK at around 7.30pm when children are watching, and where the characters have no morals at all! (not that I watch them much, promise, but the family do, and it's difficult to turn your ears off when you're in the same room!)
In fact I rather enjoyed the tongue-in-cheek humour; it didn't take itself too seriously!
Love Noe
xxx
PS Don't work too hard!