In the finest tradition of waffling, this tale has absolutely no relevance to any other subject that we have been so eruditely discussing.
I need to issue a Warning here. This is a very girly tale, involving hairdressers, beauty therapists and a
hairy mole.. So if you're at all squeamish, and/or if you're of the male persuasion, look away now....
I WUZ ROBBED!
Yes, I was robbed, ripped off, conned, taken for a soft touch. I went to the hairdressers yesterday to have the wig re-furbished. They've recently opened a beauty therapy salon upstairs and are constantly touting for trade. Now, I haven't worn make-up - oh probably since my wedding day. Couldn't be bothered with it. Nor have I ever had any kind of beauty treatment, of which they are aware.
I've mentioned to them before that I ruined my eyebrows many years ago by over-plucking, and now they won't grow back, and I wish they were thicker. Before I knew what was happening the beauty therapist was looming over me looking at my eyebrows. "We can help you with them," she says. Then I asked about something which does bother me, and that's the mole on my cheek, which I was born with, but has started sprouting hairs! I've been cutting them off, but daren't do anything more. "We can get rid of them by 'threading'," she says, "and we'll do your eyelashes too."
I meekly submitted, and the next thing I know she's got this length of cotton, her assistant is stretching my face, and
ping, ping! She's pulling this thread across my mole and eyebrows. OW! OW! OW!
"Just relax and enjoy the pampering," she says, ignoring my eyes streaming with the pain. "Now I'll tint your eyebrows and lashes." This entailed my having to sit with eyes closed for ten minutes, with what felt like toilet paper stuck to my eyelids. Did I find this relaxing? Not on your life! I felt helpless, defenceless and vulnerable, wondering what was next.
I was charged £20 for this torture. Yes, the mole looks better--until the hairs grow back--and my eyebrows look a little better in shape, and maybe a little darker, but I can't see any difference in the lashes.
"Doesn't that look better?" my torturer cooed. "You don't need mascara now, and your eyebrows look much better. What will your husband say?"
"He won't notice," I snorted.
"Oh he will," she cooed.
"You don't know him."
" He will dear."
"Wanna bet?"
He noticed that I'd had my hair done after three hours, but the face? Nah! And if he'd known that I'd paid TWENTY QUID!!!!
Never will I allow myself to be caught like that again! TWENTY QUID to look much the same! Much cheaper to use mascara and yank the hairs out myself, though I wouldn't do the mole. As for the eyebrows, what was the point?
Do I really have a neon sign above my head saying "Muggins, take me for all I'm worth."?
Okay, normal service can now be resumed.
Lucky you!
