Have a waffle with Carol

[Paul Tallet]

Welcome back Carol.

I have just crossed New Zealand off my top 10 list of places to go before I die

Regards

[Carol Townsend]

Yes, New Zealand sandflies are little black flying things that lurk around the West Coast. You know you're in for trouble when virtually all the shops in that region proudly display all the lotions and potions required to keep 'em at bay, including good old citronella with almond oil.

We went on an overnight cruise along Milford Sound (which is really a fiord but that's by the bye) and spent the evening sitting on the deck flapping our arms around dementedly as we were attacked by ravenous squadrons of the little....And bear in mind that this time of year it's still quite cool as it's the spring, so give it 6 weeks or so when they will really get going...

I was lucky though. We were given a squirt of repellant by an obliging member of the boat crew, and as it was quite chilly I was well wrapped up in socks, shoes, trousers and jacket so the only portion of me they chewed on was my right hand, which is now covered with red itchy lumps. Why only my right hand though? Just imagine, if they liked my hand so much, which after all isn't very fleshy, what would they do to the legs?

See ya later!

Noe

[Bill B]

Noe,

How about some more details on the rest of your trip? Surely you did more than chase flies

Sandra,

If you recall this is not the first time our resident Scrooge has tried to cancel Christmas It does appear though that he has infected Janette.

Bill

[Carol Townsend]

Give me time young Bill! We only arrived home on Sunday and I was back at work on Monday, plus all the domestic stuff to catch up on, emails to answer, junk mail to dispose of, unpacking, sorting out presents and sleepin' man!

I've got so many things in my head and in a notebook to sort and sift, plus photos, it's going to take a looonnng time!

Tired Noe.

[Carol Townsend]

PS. I want to cancel Christmas too. It seems to come round earlier and earlier each year and I'm bored silly with it. Can they not at least make it a bi-annual event to give us a breather from all the commercialised hoo- ha?

[Bill B]

Noe,

You really didn't have to bring back a present for me , but if you insist I will accept it.

I agree that a lot of Christmas has been overly commercialized but we still enjoy putting up our trees and decorating the house. And since Mary Lou loves to cook we look forward to doing some entertaining and a festive family dinner. It probably helps that we're both on the same wavelength when it comes to the Holidays as that way neither of us is stuck with all the work.

Bill

[Janette]

Welcome back Carol - you bin missed

[Carol Townsend]

Thanks "Sis -in-law"!

Let's start at the very beginning:

Day One:

The journey to New Zealand was, thankfully, long but uneventful. Singapore Airlines (with the prettiest female flight attendants I have ever seen in my life, and who turned Himself’s legs to jelly) looked after us with the utmost care and efficiency as we flew over Europe and Asia, including Kazakhstan, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Pakistan and all those other countries ending in “stan”, including, much to everyone’s alarm, Afghanistan.

We arrived at Christchurch airport dazed, bewildered, exhausted, but exhilarated having just witnessed a lovely sunrise over Australia. My legs had swollen up so that they resembled giant inflatable sausage-shaped balloons and my head felt like it had been put on back to front.

We stood humbly in line at Immigration and Passport Control. Well, what else can you be but ‘umble in the presence of such omnipotent beings? There she was: forty-ish, tall, short-haired, bespectacled, immaculately dressed in her uniform, and with a face that would melt granite.

“Welcome to New Zealand,” she barked. “Now show me your return tickets or itinerary, or any documentation to prove when you’re returning home.”

We scrabbled frantically around for the itinerary, which had been put together for us by a travel agent over the ‘net, and handed it to her with trembling hands. Like policemen and priests, customs and immigration officials have the uncanny ability to make you feel guilty for breathing in their presence. “This only shows ONE person’s name!” she thundered. Well that was true, only Himself’s name was on the documents as the “lead” member of our little party of two.

“But, but, that’s how it was done. It covers us both,” I pleaded, expecting to feel a hand on my collar. For crying out loud, I thought. We’re a middle-aged British couple on holiday, Commonwealth citizens and fellow subjects of the same Queen, not criminals on the run!

She gave me a look that almost dissolved the flesh from my bones. What have I done to upset you dear? I thought.

“Okay go through” she growled.

We ran through before she could change her mind. I hope her toothache, bunions, stomach-ache, haemorrhoids or whatever it was that was troubling her get better soon.

I made it my mission to regale every local I met with this tale and to their great credit the Kiwis, who are a warm and welcoming folk, were all disgusted, shocked and outraged. One man said that we should have told Ms Jobsworth to “bxxxxr off”, but that, I feel, would not have been wise under the circumstances. Another said we should have said: “Okay you just want us to leave our wallets and go back home then?”

I’m hoping that by telling enough people, my story will find its way into the NZ newspapers, and from there, it will reach Those At The Top.

Watch this space for the next thrilling instalment of “Two Go Mad Down Under”.

Love, Noe.

[Bill B]

Now let the saga proceed

Bill poyap

[SandraK]

Carol
Well done for posting so quickly - I am impressed ! Keep 'em coming !

Bill
Take it you have not been through JFK recently. Those people make Carols' experience a walk in the park.

[Janette]

Great story Noe! can't wait for more.

I think Passport control officials go through a special training course and have their sense of humour removed.

Having said that when I flew into LAX a few days after the election last year, EVERYONE, including the usually severe officials were grinning from ear to ear!

[Andy K]

Good story Noe,
i had a good laugh, even though you must have felt like you
arrive in Tobago, except for the complexion of the immigration officer.


Janette,

i met one immigration officer in Grenada last year. He said "Welcome to Grenada" and "Enjoy your stay, Sir",
and meant it !
I don't know though if they fired him already.

[Carol Townsend]

Bit busy, but hello and Happy Thanksgiving to Young Bill!

[Bill B]

Thank you Noe,

Going to our Son and DIL's house for dinner, which will be the first time since we've been married (shortly after the Pilgrims arrived here in the New World) that we haven't had it at our place. Mary Lou won't know what to do with all the time Actually it won't be that much extra time as she has to bake pecan and pumpkin pies and make cranberry sauce. Don't recall farming out all the cooking to our guests in the past but that's the way the newer generation does it.

Bill

[SandraK]

Same from me Bill ! Have a good one.

Funny, a friend and I were laughing this morning re. the new etiquette. The rhetorical question " Can I bring anything," was just that. Now if you dare ask the list is endless and always sugared with " but only if you have the time ". As I don't have a full time job the inference being Iit will be a doodle and I'm damn lazy if I don't !!

[Bill B]

Sandra,

We weren't even asked; we were told what to bring. Actually it wasn't as harsh as that sounds. It was more along the lines of "nobody makes pies as good as yours". And in fairness to my DIL she works full time and between our side and hers there will be 24 people. It would have been nice though if we had got off as easy as our other son who just has to bring a couple of bottles of wine

Bill

[GillMathews]

Bill, Hope you all enjoyed a wonderfull day. Thats the trouble is'nt it when family and friends discover some culinary treat.It becomes a must have whenever an event happens.I admire Mary Lou's patience having made pumpkin pie for a halloween party once. What a lot of fiddle it was with all the sieving and blending involved but very tasty. In my case the request is for chocolate cake and 'very sherry trifle'.
Ladies, (or maybe gents)
Tell us what your lot always crave. I am sure we are a talented bunch so what family specialties can we all add to the virtual menu. Mine are both down to earth north country fare to match my roots.How about you?
Bye for now
xxx
Ps Carol, Saw Tresco on the telly earlier this week.It looked beautifull.

[Carol Townsend]

Gill, don't get me started on Tresco! Get Christmas out of the way and then the booking forms will arrive, and the bill for the annual maintenence charge...

[Paul Williams]

Hello all
We have had a meal tonight with our youngest son and daughter in law and have been planning the Christmas day meal (sorry if I am the first one to mention it) as Leita and I are doing a 3 week tour of the Far East from the 27th December,Christian and Judith have said we can spend the 2 days prior to that with them which will be great and I offered to do the desserts but did not seem to have a unanimous vote for that so think maybe the one I have done at our house over the years is not as good a I think.
Its a lovely one using pancakes,chocolate,bananas,cream and Puncheon Rum, just thought that maybe I have used too much of one ingredients in the past, I would love David to make his version.
Hope all of the guys to whom it matters have had a good Thanksgiving holiday especially Bill and family (I work for GE who are one of the largest US companies but they do not give us the day off) but then again they do not have a 10 day break at Christmas.
Regards
Paul

[SandraK]

Gill - Good to "see" you. Funny the way we all become "known" for certain dishes. Although we have an eclectic taste I am always asked to make pies, oh, and chocolate roulade or torte. For once this Christmas we don't have a house full so suggested having beef rather than turkey - that went down like a lead balloon.

How's the swine flu drill ?

Carol
Must be time for the next installment !

Bill
How's the hangover ?