Info request - gay-friendly?

Martin N · Post by **Martin N** » Thu Feb 05, 2004 4:50 pm

I've been looking at your website with great interest over the past few days as my partner and I are planning a trip to Tobago in March. Congratulations on a really interesting and comprehensive site.

I wondered if there was any info or feedback from same sex couples that have visited the island. I'm aware that a number of Caribbean
islands aren't really gay-friendly and I thought it might be possible to establish whether Tobago was any more or less welocming to gay people than some of the other islands. Also whether we're likely to encounter any prejudice - and if so, whether any parts of the island are more problematic than others.

I'd be grateful for any information anyone can provide.

Martin[/b]

Post by **Steve Wooler** » Thu Feb 05, 2004 10:11 pm

Hi Martin

You've posed an interesting question there and not one that I've ever had any feedback or comment on. I'm hoping that your post might encourage some feedback that will answer (and hopefully reassure) you on the matter. I would be more than happy to relay comments and opinion from any readers who would prefer not to register an account and post a public response. In answer to your question, however, my first reaction was that I do not expect it to be a problem.

Bryn · Post by **Bryn** » Thu Feb 05, 2004 11:59 pm

I also don't see a problem for gay tourists. I have many gay friends and would not hesitate to suggest Tobago or Trinidad as a vacation spot.

Bryn

Paul Tallet · Post by **Paul Tallet** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 12:54 am

Im terms of tolerance I suppose you would need to look at the situation in the UK about 20 years ago to have any sort of idea about Tobagonian views both politically and socially.

I am only going by the chats I have had with some locals ... I have understood that homosexuality is not tolerated (i.e.; this is a legal issue) although this is a political/social attitude that is probably outdated like it is in many countries ... and you will know more than I, how long it can take for people to change.

I think 'The Rough Guide to Tobago' book covers the legal aspect of this issue or maybe there is a Tobagonian lawyer who can contribute to this and update the position.

Let's face it ... there are gays in any community and various communities will have difference views so some gays are better off than others depending where they live.

I have to say that I am surprised to see the question, with utmost respect.

I feel sure that you would enjoy your time anywhere in Tobago (or the world) as long as you don't make it obvious ... it just like I don't maul my own wife in public ... get my drift? ... I think it is called discretion.

On the other hand ... try out one of those private beach trips with the local fishermen where they would be happy to leave you in total privacy for the day if you want those intimate moments ... just watch the sand flies is all I would say !!!

I hope my contribution helps and I am sorry if it sounds if I am preaching the 'bleeding obvious' ... but I am just telling it how I see it.

Shame really ... My family will be there in precisely 172,800 seconds but we will leave before you arrive in March ... I would certainly make you felt welcome if you came to Castara.

But have a good holiday... chill out ... and don't worry about the gay issues ... it's your business.

Regards

Paul

Glyn Kirpalani · Post by **Glyn Kirpalani** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 4:30 am

Hi

I believe that sex between men may be illegal here, but there is a widespread underground gay scene in Trinidad - some bars are not so covert as they used to be I hear (don't ask me which as I do not know, honest!).

My wife is a British Airways stewardess and, stereotypically, knows quite a few gay guys who fly. One is a good friend of ours and very overtly gay, if you know what I mean. He and his friend are Tobago-philes and have just bought land next to us plus want to settle here - they have been visiting regularly for years and tell me that of all the areas/resorts here they find that Store Bay is the most friendly and tolerant to them - indeed they know most of the workers down there now, and are never teased or worse, but are welcomed.

I did get the impression that he had experienced mild homophobia elsewhere, this being a macho culture, but as in most aspects Tobagonians are generally shy and dignified so keep their opinions to themselves (tourist touts/hustlers excepted of course, obviously not shy/reserved by virtue of their trade).

For the record, my wife and I would not tolerate any homophobia at one of our properties for which we are responsible or where we make bookings - we have already welcomed one gay couple at Mount Hay Retreat, who got on famously with staff and fellow guests alike, promising to return.

Hope this helps

Martin N · Post by **Martin N** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 11:53 am

Many thanks for the helpful responses, and apologies for any confusion my initial enquiry may have caused.

I wasn't meaning to prompt a debate about appropriate behaviour or levels of discretion, as I don’t think this forum would be the right vehicle for that.

For the record though, unfortunately there are some places around the world where gay people still encounter prejudice and are made to feel very unwelcome without ever having ‘mauled’ each other in public. For example there are cases of same sex couples being turned away from hotels on arrival – hardly a good start to a holiday.

I am delighted to learn that there should be no such worries in Tobago and look forward to getting to know what sounds like a really beautiful island and the warm and friendly people that live there.

Glyn Kirpalani · Post by **Glyn Kirpalani** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 1:23 pm

Hi Martin

Remember that this forum regularly debates subjects such as "appropriate .. behaviour" and "discretion", when discussing subjects such as sex tourism/crime (homo and heterosexual sex tourism occurs here), children in hotels, and even dress codes. Your post raising concerns about gay friendliness stirred a debate about gay tourism and behaviour in Tobago - exactly what a forum such as this is designed for in my opinion - as an information gathering/sharing platform so that all may benefit and express honestly held and inoffensive views, for the benefit of others.

Now that you are on board, you will soon see that starting a thread of posts gives noone ownership rights, and tangents are aplenty - so debates are often started unintentionally.

Finally, you may find that some hoteliers here will turn you away - if not for reasons of bigotry then for reasons of fear of criminal liability, whether founded or unfounded. I consider it unlikely and have never heard of such an incident (if anyone has then please email Steve W in confidence as he suggested), but be aware of the legal issues and choose wisely. I think that there is a great need for the government here to legalise homosexual acts between consenting adults - and debates here, combined with a gay tourist lobby, would undoubtedly assist the modernisation of the law here in the long run. Somebody should tell Mr Tatchell of Stonewall to come and "arrest" a politician - we need the free publicity! I jest, but somebody/thing needs to start a debate, somebody/thing with huge clout - such as the gay tourism dollar/pound..

Enjoy Tobago but be aware of local sensibilities and do not relax your guard too much - it only takes on bigot hotelier police officer...

Post by **Steve Wooler** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 1:53 pm

Hi Guys

As I thought, the subject has prompted a lively discussion in response to a very relevant and valid question. The topic is not about the issue of sexuality, but simply about attitudes towards homosexuality within Tobago - so within that context full discussion is highly relevant to this site.

Since you first contacted me, Martin, I have taken the opportunity to raise the question with various people here on the island. This basically endorses all the advice given above. Yes, like anywhere, you are bound to find some problems with some individuals in exactly the same way you would if you have a hair colour, shirt or laugh that they simply don't like. There are shallow, bigoted people around the world and I suspect that if you experience “problems” then they are as likely to be from other visitors to the island as from tourists.

Tobago is a deeply religious country, with a particular penchant for the more strident, orthodox, bible-thumping strains of Christianity. This will naturally tend to mean somewhat stronger attitudes on the subject than you might be accustomed to in London. On the other hand, the natural nature of Tobagonians is warm, friendly and hospitable. I am convinced that if you do not upset their sensibilities through inappropriate public behaviour, you will be made every bit as welcome as everyone else.

So please just enjoy Tobago.

SJKeeler · Post by **SJKeeler** » Fri Feb 06, 2004 6:15 pm

Martin,

A group of us from the states are also going to Tobago in March. Perhaps we can hook up for a drink if you're going the same time! This will be my third visit to a place which has come to be my favorite in the Caribbean. You will have an experience like no other, and I have found the people to be most wonderful. I've met a few gay people during my visits and no one has mentioned a problem, provided you're discreet, as others on this board have said. Email me directly at [email protected] and I'll share my thoughts with you.