Betty Stivens Mystery Tombstone

[Julia C.]

We had a look at this whilst touring in that part of the Island and it's worth stopping for a look if you're in the area.
However if you do stop for a look you may be approached by a bit of a con artist.
Here's what happened to us.
Whilst we were reading the tombstone a friendly chap appeared and asked us what we thought the inscription meant. I happily gave him my interpretation. He then went into a long (and quite amusing) dialogue with his explanation. He explained it was all about "IT" and the moral being you should only do "IT" with your husband! Anyway after this moral tale he then covers your arms and legs with aloe vera and then asks for money suggesting you give him a "blue" one - i.e. $100 TT (about £10)!!!
"Pfft!" I said and because I was cross I offered him $10 TT - he didn't like that and asked for at least $25 TT - I told him to take the $10 or nothing - he took the $10.
So if you go and have a look at the tomb and someone approaches you and asks what you think the inscription means you could say - "It's all about it and we've already got aloe vera on, thank you!"
I don't mind people trying to make an honest $ out of visitors but £10 for a few minutes chat and a bit of aloe vera is a con.

[Achim Lewandowski]

Hi,

the same happened to me. I paid 20TT (including the Aloe Vera, an explanation of the tomb and a photo session).

Maybe it is the same person?

http://www.alewand.de/fotos/tobago/fo23.htm

(The face is quite dark, sorry!)

Regards,

Achim

[Julia C.]

I don't think it is the same person - our guy was older.
Must be several people doing the same thing.

[David Watkins]

The story of Betty Stivens is quite sad.She was a slave girl who was "taken" at about aged 18 by her master,under English law at that time,before formal and registered marriages a man who took a "maiden" was automatically deemed to be be married to her.It would appear that Master Stivens was unaware of this rule,possibly because he was not of English/British stock,Betty however was aware of the rule.So she was his wife without him knowing it.As to the part of being a mother without knowing,Betty died in childbirth.Depending on where you get info from it was a multiple birth(one account says sextuplets!!),however one child survived,so she was a mother and never knew it.I've tried to trace the name Stivens and so far found only a record of a burial of a seaman in South Devon UK in 1819.
David(11 weeks to go )

[Steve Fifield]

David,

How did you find that all out? There is still one mystery as far as I can see, and that is, who made or paid for the tombstone? I doubt that it was Betty's family, unless one was a stonemason, so perhaps Mr Stivens, who was obviously very fond of her, provided the funds. I also think that Stivens is possibly just a mis-spelling of Stevens, hence the difficulty finding the family. Try saying "You's sooo kind ta me Mr Stevens, how cun I ayver re-pay you ?" in your best Tobago accent!

Perhaps "she was his wife without him knowing it" meant that he did not, or was not able to, acknowledge it whilst she was alive, perhaps because he was already married.

Steve F.