I am somewhat concerned about your comments regarding chidren. I have two children aged 5 and 6, who I am taking to the Coco Reef in October. My children are very well behaved and have excellent manners, I alike many do not enjoy trying to have a meal when there are noisy children around and I can assure you my children are not in this category. While I was on holiday last year with my children plus 2 others, we dined out with them every evening and received many comments about how well behaved they are.
As a busy parent and having a husband that has a very pressurised job, we find that our holidays are the times for all of us to "chill out" and enjoy each others company. I do not see how you can refer to parents being selfish by taking them to Coco Reef. My children will return from there holiday having has 2 quality weeks with their mummy and daddy having enjoyed swimming, relaxing and eating out with their parents. Something that many parents are not able to do!! I hope that you will agree that I am not selfish just a caring loving parent wanting to spend some time with her children whilst enjoying the beautiful island of Tobag o.
Just to say I agree with kirstens comments. We are off to tobago next year though not to coco reef. Our children have travelled with us since they were small and have gained from the experience. One of the reasons we prefer to take them abroad is because of the very english attitude of intolerance towards children. They are now 9 and 11 and have friends of different nationalities. This year in france they happily sat for 3 hours in french restaurants- something they may not have done if they had never been taken to eat out.
helen
Ouch! I take it you were referring to the comments in my review of the Coco Reef Resort. This is a topic I cannot win, so my reply is intended as a courtesy more than wishing to argue a contentious issue over which there can be no winners.
Your posting says “I like many do not enjoy trying to have a meal when there are noisy children around” so, with respect, you are totally agreeing with my main point. My review comments were not directed at YOUR children, so please don’t think if I am making a personal attack. I’m sure your children are every bit as nice and polite as you say. If so, I would undoubtedly be one of those to come over and compliment you. Sadly, however, the restaurant might be full of nice, polite, well-behaved children who nobody could object to (well, there will always be somebody, but let's forget the extremists), but just one bawling badly-behaved brat can ruin it for others.
Whether you wish to accept it or not, I am expressing the opinion of many. In fact, my research has shown that my personal opinions on the subject are relatively moderate. Please allow me to try and explain this "other" point of view. I’m not asking you to agree with it – simply to understand and respect the views of others, because they are every bit as valid as your own. May I start be recounting two brief true stories:
We tried to persuade friends we met at the Coco Reef to return with us two years back. They said they wouldn’t because they preferred other hotels in Grenada and Jamaica which had a “no under-16s” policy. I think their views are the far side of the coin, but valid nonetheless. If lots of people didn't agree with them, there wouldn't be any hotels with policies of this nature.
One evening at the Coco Reef, we dined with a young Irish couple. They had been married for five years and had two children. This was their very first break since their marriage and the first without the children. The topic of children came up. They said their only criticism of the hotel was the fact that they allowed children. Not because they didn’t like children – just the opposite, in fact. It was because the presence of children made them miss their own children desperately and feel guilty for taking time to spend time together as a couple. You can’t win!
It would obviously be wrong of me to stay at a Club 18-30 and complain about all-night music. It would be equally wrong of me to stay at a hotel with a naturist beach and complain about guests parading in the nude. I would equally be condemned if I stayed at a “family” hotel and complained about the presence of children. Why then is it so wrong of me to mention that the Coco Reef is not a ‘children’s hotel’?
Whether intentional or accidental, the fact is that the Coco Reef – like the Blue Haven and Hilton – has built a clientele largely consisting of honeymooners and people of more mature years. Children are a tiny, tiny minority. It simply isn’t a “children’s” hotel. I can’t wave a magic wand and make the clientele any different. Equally, and on behalf of a substantial majority of the visitors to these hotels, it would be wrong of me to stick my head in the sand and not mention these issues simply for fear of offending a few people who will one day grin and almost certainly agree (or at least understand) with what I'm saying.
Why have you chosen the Coco Reef? Is it because of the excellent organised facilities for children and the great number of little friends they will have for companionship? No, I don’t think so. You have chosen it because it is the sort of hotel where YOU would like to stay. The decision is based entirely upon your own preferences and tastes, not those of your children or other guests. I have absolutely no wish to offensive but, I hope I’ve made my point.
My original 2000 Coco Reef Review simply suggested that the hotel should institute a policy asking parents with children to dine before a certain time so that couples, honeymooners and those wanting a romantic dinner could do so without distraction. By coincidence, while staying at the hotel, a lady wrote a somewhat vitriolic email complaining about this comment. The fact that I was at the Coco Reef was fortuitous and gave me the opportunity to raise the issue with other guests. The feedback came as a total shock, frankly, and made me realise that my own views were surprisingly moderate. I have since regularly raised the point elsewhere. I now know that for every guest who likes children at a hotel, there will be another of exactly opposing view. That’s why it’s a no-win situation for all of us. That’s why there are “Family” hotels and why there are others with “no children” policies.You’ve made the point about not enjoying meals when there are noisy children about, so why is it so wrong of me to make the same point?
I am a proud and loving grandparent with four offspring (I can’t call them children as the youngest is 28 ). I have absolutely no doubt that future years will see us taking our grandchildren to Tobago. I will, however, never forget that they are MY grandchildren – not other peoples. No, I will not take them to the Coco Reef, the Blue Haven or the Hilton (who all attract a similar clientele) until they are of an appropriate age. Simply because I love them enough to sacrifice my own preferences and take them to hotels that they will enjoy far more. Children are a blessing. They are also a sacrifice. The fact that you wish to spend “quality” time with them and enjoy each other’s company is commendable. However, you can spend that same quality time together and dine together in other environments far better suited to them.
Either way, have a wonderful holiday.
Last edited by Steve Wooler on Wed Sep 03, 2003 6:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Steve Wooler myTobago.info - the definitive Visitor Guide to Tobago
Ummmmm! what can I say - I will let you know if I made the right decision when I return!
However, I have to say that my parents have been to the Coco Reef on 6 occasions and are the ones that recommended that I take the children there.
May I also add that just sometimes it can be "adults" that can cause as many problem as children!!
Anyway I think you have a fantastic website and I have recommended it to many
When I return from the Coco Reef I will let you know my very honest opinion of taking children to the Coco Reef and either agree or still disagree with your views!
You will have a fantastic holiday – of that I have no doubt. Remember, I never said that the Coco Reef was not suitable for children – my only point is that a substantial percentage of the guests would prefer children to be low key – particularly at night in the main formal restaurant.
Sure, I couldn’t agree more with you about some “adults” causing more problems. Believe you me, nothing winds me up more than “All Inclusive” guests whose sole purpose in life seems to be to see how much they can pour down their necks. The CCR doesn’t get many, thank God, but there’s always one or two (why, oh why, are they always British?).
Anyway, have a great trip. That is guaranteed.
Steve Wooler myTobago.info - the definitive Visitor Guide to Tobago
We are a childless couple in our 60s. We only get a holiday every 5 or 6 years. We do try to find quiet hotels with as few children as possible. We stayed at the Coco Reef four years ago. Our first week was wonderful, despite the rebuilding work. The second was somewhat spoilt by noisy children. We totally endorse everything Steve and Jill have said on the subject.
Kirsten, I’m sorry to criticise, but you seem to misunderstand Steve’s point. Of course, it is your perfect right to stay at the hotel. Well, it is also my right to take my radio down to the beach and listen to the Test match all afternoon. After all, why should I consider the other guests; they are bound to love my sport.
Steve, I know the Coco Reef is rather sedate and most of us are in bed by 10.30. You won’t remember us, but we did meet. You and Jill and another couple were enjoying yourselves on the Gallery until nearly two in the morning the night before we met. You had to alert security because you saw two inflatables mysteriously land on the beach. Do you remember? Please keep up the good work and do not mind the knockers.
Peter & Mary
p.s. I mentioned that we are childless. I forgot to mention the reason we only get away every 5 or 6 years. We are foster parents. Over 45 years we have fostered 42 children long-term. We have loved them with a passion that you might find hard to understand. Many had problems you would find hard to comprehend. We shall continue to foster for as long as we are capable. It’s nice to get away now and again though.
I really think I am but misunderstood here. The Coco Reef is not advertised as a hotel that does not accept children quite to the contrary according to some reports.
I actually have no intention of taking my chidren down to the "posh" restaurant at 8.30 at night when I completely aware of the fact that many people do not want children about whether they are being good or not.
What I am trying to say is that just because the Coco Reef does not have kids clubs etc does not mean that it is the wrong place for me to take my children. Two years I went to a hotel with kids clubs etc and actually spent very little time with my chidren. Last year I went away to a hotel with no facilities for children and really enjoyed the time I spent with them as much as they did.
I hear what Steve is saying but all I am trying to say is that all parents are going to allow their children to be run riot.
Like I said, this is a no-win argument. The selfish parents who lack consideration for other guests will simply dismiss my comments as those of a bigoted old fart. Others will nod and grin and understand what I’m talking about. It isn’t simply about children. It is about consideration to others. Peter’s radio on the beach would be every bit as annoying to me as noisy children. My reviews would be lacking if I did not point out which hotels were appropriate or inappropriate for children.
Kirstin, as I said in the last paragraph of the section on Children in the Coco Reef review, “some of the children at the resort were an absolute delight”. I commend your fierce mothering instinct, but I was not for a minute having a go at your children and obviously not suggesting that all children are noisy. I actually totally agree with Helen about the importance of dining out with your children. Having had a Colonial upbringing, I was used to dining in full formal dress by the age of 11. Our four children were brought up in very similar ways. I have to admit that I would not have hesitated to take them to the Coco Reef.
Hello Peter and Mary. Yes, we do remember you, although I confess to not being able to visualise you clearly. My eldest son lives in Nottingham – hence the memory connection. The two o’clock sessions on the Terrace Bar were strictly not my fault. We were being led astray by others. Yes, I well remember the two dinghies that crept into the bay and disgorged a group of visitors. Hotel security quickly spotted and dealt with the matter, they didn’t need me to report it. Thanks for your support, but I’m sure Kirtsin didn’t mean offence.
Kirstin, was that a Freudian slip on that last sentence?
Steve Wooler myTobago.info - the definitive Visitor Guide to Tobago
o.
